Saturday, August 20, 2011

Horrific Accidents

I am always a little nervous on the bus because the drivers just don't care about speed. This one incident didn't involve speed however, but was just as vicious. You know the middle part of the bus? Well I guess that material isn't very strong. It started making a funny noise, it kinda sounded like a million people all screaming at once. Everyone was looking at each other concerned, when all of a sudden, it ripped apart. The 4 people sitting in those middle seats were gone in seconds, unheard from again. The front of the bus kept on going, but the back of the bus went on a journey to hell. The sparks burnt the first 4 rows of people to a crisp, and the rest of us had to jump out the back onto oncoming traffic. Some people made it....and some didn't.

One time Granny brought us sledding. We thought it was weird when she woke us up in the middle of the night to do it, but what ever, we were kids. Of course, Granny was on her usual Scotch and Gin at the time, so we weren't surprised to see Granny go down on the the GT Snow Racer backwards. She yelled "Watch and learn you pussies", but that is the last thing she yelled that night. She had to be going at least 80mph when she hit a rut, and she completely rag-dolled. It took them 4 hours to dig her out and they had to amputate the leg that night. Oh Granny!

My dad was a carpenter. One summer he decided to fix the roof of our house. So, he bolted the ladder onto the deck so that he could go up and down many times during the day. Well, me and my brother would always get up there and a few times we almost fell off. So, like any good dad, he took the bolts out. Well one day he was up there and it started to rain. He quickly ran to the ladder to get down. My mom was inside on the phone and happened to glance out the window just in time to see my dad go down. He took out the whole deck with his body. I ran out and yelled "DAD??" and all he said was "Just get me my fucking smokes". HE funny :)

Of course, I made all of this up, and its really just the script to Final Destination part 14....or is it? HAPPY HALLOWEEN.....wait

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just get me my fucking smokes hahahhah amazing